I can honestly say, i do not have a new year resolution.
Or even if i do, i wouldnt keep them.
Simply put, still immature.
For the past 21 years, i never really thought about what i had to do.
what i wanted to do.
except for a few times.
First was, after my psle results.
2nd was after my secondary school results.
3rd was nearing the break of the ite. where i almost got out from ite before grad.
4th was the break up with her before enlistment.
5th was the break up with her again after taiwan.
6th was the break up before finishing of national service.
i hope i have the time and patience to write what really happened to me.
Throughout these 6th major changes in my life so far.
First Changes -
I began to look out for my strengths.
Became super steel hearted. After the primary 5 incident with desmond.
Father fainted... Mother disappointed...
2nd changes -
I love lsy... I love to dance, even though i kept it a secret, maybe cause
First ? Girlish ?
2nd ? Unable to earn anything from it.
I began to look out for my strengths which could be money-tised.
Skills set that could be used to earn for a living.
I became even more fucked up.
I asked God. Show me the path.
I told him the truth, I know im made for something.
Show me.
I know you made me love her for a reason.
I wish to be with her for life.
But, there must be food on the table as well.
Got love, no food also useless.
Even though i was young then, i already thought about the future with her.
Even since i made him show me the path.
Everything i do, everything i show to her.
Everything just messes up.
Nothing could go right.
I knew that was the path.
But i loved her so bad, i do not wish to let go.
3rd changes -
Became more outgoing. More thick skinned.
Realized my potential if i really put my time and effort into things.
Turned off after...
As nothing could be interesting enough for me to really open up my brain.
As things became so boring with me doing all the things that people cant do.
I know im different from others this point in time. But im just... too lazy.
As a producer, i learned full responsibility.
When she broke up with me, she actually told me i didnt have any responsbility.
I was really broken.
4th changes -
Wondered what i really did wrong.
Learned my mistakes and changed for the better during my 5th.
I knew i wanted to go for enlistment that year.
I knew studying wasnt for me.
I knew, i need to work something out fast.
I knew, i dont like to work for people.
Everything i do right, Everything i earn. My medals, my commitment, my strengths.
My achievements, i want to show her !
Prove to her !
But everything just seemed so wrong.
5th changes -
I became more opened to other people's opinions and suggestions.
I learned to be more helpful, less selfish.
Teamwork.
6th Changes-
There is one thing i didnt tell LSY when we patched up.
My feelings towards her, changed differently.
I told anderson about this.
That 8months she didnt contacted me, really broke me apart.
After we broke up, i didnt waste time, feeling dispair, i properbly made the biggest mistake in trusting a partner for business.
Why ?
Before all these, during national service.
I actually put in a group of people for business.
Melvin, Yong Nan and Stephen.
After 2 meetings, we concluded with Phone Applications.
Honestly, i know it will work.
But someone's a problem. i didnt carry on.
I knew that i work best alone.
Everything just seemed so wrong.
Now ?
It's close to a year.
Made a mistake with partnership.
Got rid of.
Within the last 3 months, officially.
So much changes.
2015 is gonna be a crazy year for me.
It's been 10months already.
Unlike the last time, i really felt like moving on.
As time goes, the more i liked her.
As time goes more, the more i loved her.
As time grew longer, the more i think of her.
As the time grew longer, the more i feel her.
The sadness, sweetness. responsbility, jealousy, commitment.
Everyone told me to move on, but the first thing is i whack them.
I will stop writing soon, I cant express everything out in words.
No longer in words.
As for last year, i tried a few times.
To get you back.
Valentine's day, her mother's birthday (bad bad move, almost killed myself)
Gina's birthday (totally missed everything)
Holloween Makeup @ Singapore Art musuem, (totally missed her by 30minutes)
This year, i will try even harder.
Therefore, i conclude everything with my New Year's resolution.
1. Get LSY !!!!!
2. Approver from her parents!
3. Approver from her best friends !
(Three Pronged approach)
4. E-commas, out by June2015.
Market it by end of year.
(Start of next generation idea)
5. I always wanted to make a short film based on true story.
Romance, the scenes and set in already in my mind.
I hope to finish the script and idea-ing this year round.
Everywhere i go, everywhere i think.
Business, business, business.
Nothing else.
I can say im totally changed 360*
As for LSY ?
Even more crazy over her.
As time goes by, the more assuring and assurance of my love to her.
Few important months this year based on events.
Feb - Her birthday, Valentine's day, as well as last month of rental and Plan B Commences?
June - e-commas, collaboration with new partner ?
Work flow and change in business line.
End of year 2015 ? -
Prep for Yong Nan, Jx and Greg come out of NS.
More man-power for me and my business.
Can take in far more projects than current myself.
One man show.
