Once again.
At your place below. Whenever I'm too stressed up. I would be there.
Sitting down, behind the 3rd wall on the right of the lift.
Feeling the wind.
And I could stay there a long time.
Knowing there would not be at mosquito bites.
Abit afraid what if you saw me.
I wouldn't know what to do.
If you were to see me.

But then, I need to find a way to relieve stress.
Partly maybe seeing the time that its Sunday.

There would be some point in time.
Where friends will all leave.
And make their way alone.

To be honest.
I feel happy for yyn now.
He's no longer scared of girls around him.
I no longer feel the need of being with him.
On the other hand right now.
It was me at the end.
The need of accompany.

I looked back.
Febuary 8th 2012.
The day you sent me that message.
That day I still know how it felt.
So bad.
I was playing. As usual at night. 8plus.
Where I heard your unique text sound which I made only for you.
I paused the bloody game.
Making 9 other people wait.
I read through.
And I left the game. Took my items.
And walked out of house.
That dreadful 30min of walk from my place to yours.
Was unbelievable.
Enough of that, I do not wish to go back there anymore.
That very Sunday.
The coldness you gave me.
Left a deep down void within.

Every weekend now.
Trying my best to gather up my friends.
Trying my very best to not lose them.
Even on my expense.
I do not mind.
But it doesn't last.

Can't even compare with just sitting beside you.
Doing nothing or saying anything.
That was when I knew.
I seriously love you.
Every single dumb selfish mistakes I did.
Only hurt myself even more.
When I think back.

The feeling of just sitting beside you.
The very acknowledgement of my existence to you.
Made everything worth it.

During the last fine days.
Before your birthday.
After mine.
I became really paranoid with myself.
I became so afraid of losing you.
That I did things that wasn't me at all.
The feeling was so intense.
I couldn't feel myself anywhere.

I felt like extending my feelings for you.
And let you know how I really felt for you.
I didn't know what to do.
Until 29th January 2012.
When I felt. The only thing refraining myself. Was myself.
I wasn't fully opened to you.
I wanted to talk to you so badly.
But when you were to be beside me.
My mind just goes blank.
I couldn't think of anything.

I met you up after your dance.
Catch a movie together ?
I Not Naughty ?
Ended up didn't watch due to it was too late ?
You came to see my grandmother.

The one thing I didn't tell you was.
In my hands.
I got the movie tickets already.
Already bought before hand.
I got 2.
Perfectionist thinking.
2 tickets for 7.30pm at katong GV.
And another 2 tickets for 9.30pm at tampines GV.

I was crazy.
Anything that could spend more time with you. I didn't mind.
But the one thing I didn't expect was you agreeing to coming to my grandmother place.
Lied to my grandmother that night about we had our dinner already.
Went off for our own dinner.
I was really too happy.
Till I ordered both my drinks and food wrong. I didn't make a fuss out of it.
I just ate on.

The emptiness.
Could never be replaced by anything anyone else.